Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
