Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.

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(509): am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast. http://tfl.nu/srmx

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(239): View more from Florida

she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols

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(239): she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols http://tfl.nu/3kt1

Replies (30) Good night (750) Bad night (3878) Order T-Shirt
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(910): View more from North Carolina

He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.

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(910): He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever. http://tfl.nu/jw7m

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(708): View more from Illinois

I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza

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(708): I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza http://tfl.nu/44q3

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night

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(724): I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night http://tfl.nu/leh0

Replies (6) Good night (4620) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.

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(303): I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex. http://tfl.nu/3z60

Replies (20) Good night (1519) Bad night (3821) Order T-Shirt
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(301): View more from Maryland

dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow

(410): View more from Maryland

so basically your not goin out tonight?

(301): View more from Maryland

who said that?

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(301): dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow (410): so basically your not goin out tonight? (301): who said that? http://tfl.nu/qimw

Replies (13) Good night (5259) Bad night (831)
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(404): View more from Georgia

She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts

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(404): She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts http://tfl.nu/e8f4

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(845): View more from New York

you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic

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(845): you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic http://tfl.nu/aiqs

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(252): View more from North Carolina

The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse

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(252): The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse http://tfl.nu/x8q4

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.

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(919): Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today. http://tfl.nu/hnp2

Replies (12) Good night (6202) Bad night (551)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.

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(416): I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined. http://tfl.nu/slim

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.

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(303): I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION. http://tfl.nu/audf

Replies (2) Good night (1208) Bad night (249) Order T-Shirt
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(410): View more from Maryland

Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.

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(410): Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad. http://tfl.nu/fe6u

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.

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(570): No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong. http://tfl.nu/gy5i

Replies (2) Good night (159) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt

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