And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
