Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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