are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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