I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
