i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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