benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
