i always forget guys have bellybuttons
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We had to coat check the pizza.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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