I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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