dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
