Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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