I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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