You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
