There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize