I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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