Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
