Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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