I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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