it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
