Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
