I hope mine doesn't look like that
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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