never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
