Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize