please come you make the beer taste better
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
