...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I love you.
Bad choice
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
