Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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