Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dicks are not precious.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
