I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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