East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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