We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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