I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
