What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize