Christians are straight up FREAKS
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
