I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
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My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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