Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
