before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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