I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
