Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
