is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
