No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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