u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
