hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
