we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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