is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
But theres a keg here and me gusta
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
