i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
