what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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