R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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