how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
