i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
