I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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