Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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