As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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