can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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