and you said cock pushups were impossible
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
