The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize