doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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